Why I Hate the Flyers

I know this isn't the most timely article. The Stanley Cup Finals wrapped up last week and the World Cup is now under way and rightly demands full attention as the most important sporting event there is. However, I still think about the Flyers losing in the Cup Finals last week and feel warm and fuzzy, so lend me your ears a moment, and let me tell you why I hate the Flyers.

1.Phil likes them.

We lived together in a tiny apartment at UNH and it turned out that he loves the Flyers and I love the Bruins. Naturally, acceptance of the others' team was out of the question for the sake of entertainment in the form of shit-talking. Thus, I grew to despise the Flyers. Phil is a great guy, make no mistake about that. I'm proud to say I would have grown to hate any team he liked.

2. Chris Pronger.

Chris Pronger is just a complete dickhead. I've never liked him since watching the playoffs a few years back, I guess, when he was on the Ducks. He's a dirty player and gets away with stuff that others don't just because he's good. He's likes a smug, over-privileged rich kid that you fantasize about punching in the face in front of his girlfriend and busting his nose on his new white shoes or something. Plus he looks like a gap-toothed ape and his haircut sucks. I hope he got really mad when the Chicago Tribune ran that picture of him in a skirt. Chris Pronger is a goon which leads me to a more general grievance:

3. They're goons.

The Flyers are a bunch of dirty bastards. Look what they did to Patrice Bergeron in 2007. And they took some other players out for awhile too, but I'm not gonna go dig up a bunch of old facts. They're dirty.

4. They eliminated the Bruins.

They not only eliminated them, they did it in a highly embarrassing fashion. Sure, I can get mad at the Bruins for blowing a 3-0 series lead and a 3-0 game lead in game 7, or I could just hate the Flyers more; I hate the Flyers more.